I Said No Kids at the Baby Shower and Now My Sister Won’t Talk to Me (2025)

This baby was supposed tobring our family together, not tear itapart. Mywife has been stressed beyond belief lately. Between the back pain, mood swings, and endless appointments, planning this shower was her one happy distraction.

Mywife requested that her baby shower bekid-free. She wanted ittobeperfect, peaceful, and most ofall, onher terms.

She said she just wanted aday tobecelebrated without toddlers screaming. Orthrowing food, oryanking onher maternity dress. Fair enough, right? Itold her I’d handle part ofthe guest list totake something off her plate. Ialso invited mysister.

Well, that one decision may have just blown everythingup. Mysister has three naughty kids. The moment she heard about the no-kid rule, she lostit. Said wewere alienating her family. Said mywife was being “snobby.” Itried explaining that this wasn’t personal, itwas one simple boundary.

She’s determined tobring her kids anyway. She told methey’re always included, that this ishow family works, and ifwecouldn’t accept that, maybe she shouldn’t come atall. Ibegged her tounderstand. Her response? Either she can bring them orshe won’t come atall.

Ifroze. Ididn’t want tochoose between the two women who’ve meant the most tomemywhole life. SoIgave avague “we’ll figure itout,” thinking I’d buy time. Instead, mysister took itasagreen light.

Now mywife ismad atmeand has threatened tocancel the baby shower. She saysI betrayed her, thatI chose mysister over her during one ofthe most vulnerable times ofher life. SoIwent back tomysister and said mywife was adamant that the kids can’t come.

Both stopped speaking tomenow, soI’m desperate tofind asolution. Doyou have any suggestions?

• Your wife made one simple request for the shower. It’s understandable you’d want toplease everyone, but it’s important tostand byher wishes when she’s the one feeling stressed. Oratleast negotiate before sending out the invites for aspecific event.
• Saying “we’ll figure itout” might not have been the best approach. Itleft things unclear and made your wife feel unsupported. Alittle more clarity could’ve avoided this situation, but it’s clear you have this response under alot ofpressure from aperson you love.
• Your sister’s ultimatum was tough tohandle, but it’s important toacknowledge that you did have tomake achoice. It’s okay toput your foot down, especially when itcomes toyour feelings orthose ofyour wife.
• Take adeep breath and have aheart-to-heart with your wife. Apologize for the misstep and ask how you can make things right. She’ll appreciate the effort. The same goes with your sister. Honesty will take you along way.
• This isjust the beginning ofsetting boundaries inyour new family. It’s not always easy, and after the baby arrives, things may get even more complicated. But practicing itnow will help you feel more confident inthe future.